Uniquely Swiss

I'm going to continue to write blogs about everyday experiences and so on while I'm here, but since I'm running out of time, I'm going to try and stuff as much info about the differences between Swiss culture and others as I can in posts like this one. I have culled some of these Swiss idiosyncrasies from my own experiences as well as from other blogs and forums that I have read off the Internet. This is just another random list, by no means complete, of some of those differences, and I will try not to judge any of them as 'good' or 'bad'. You be the judge.

Because of limited opening hours(most stores close by 6pm during the week, by 4pm on Saturdays, and are closed completely on Sundays) most -- especially grocery -- stores are packed, particularly on weekends. I don't just mean "packed", I mean "bat shit crazy Japanese subway at rush hour" packed. So packed that they have crowd control police on scene! Obviously, people who work normal 9 to 5 jobs have very, very little time to do their weekly shopping, except on Saturdays. On one occasion, my wife and I were enjoying hiking around the mountain resort town of Engelberg, not far from Lucerne, this past winter. We got back to the car around 5:00 pm, were a little hungry, so decided to look around for a cafe to grab a little bite to eat. We don't normally eat out, but we were hungry! Unfortunately, there wasn't a cafe or restaurant in the town still open for business. Let me clarify this: Engelberg is a large ski resort, whereas the mountains close down for skiing around 4:30 in the afternoon. At this time, hordes of famished, thirsty people pour down off the mountain and return to their hotel rooms, condos, and so on, eager to grab a bite and a beer and a little social time, and what do they find? A bunch of closed cafes and restaurants, the owners and employees having shut down and gone home to be with their families. This is not,  I repeat not, America.

Prices rarely vary from Grocery stores to convenience stores, or any other stores for that matter. If a sandwich or loaf of bread costs $5 at a huge grocery store in the suburbs, it will also cost $5 downtown, or at the gas station store, or at the store at the top of a mountain, or at the store at an amusement park. Same with gas prices; pretty much the same everywhere you go.

On top of their limited daytime hours, many stores, post offices, banks, etc, close for a long lunch, sometime from noon to 3pm!

Business and apartment building are rarely made from wood here. They are mostly built from concrete, steel, and stone. So are roads, freeways, tunnels, bridges, and so on. This requires cranes. There are always a lot of buildings and roads under construction or renovation, so there are always a ton of cranes around. I mean a ton. In any small village, there might be 5 or more building cranes dotting the skyline. I remember when people were impressed when Las Vegas had 15 or more cranes around the city......a city of almost 2 million. Here, in a town of perhaps 50,000, there could be that many. No kidding.

There are lots of photo radars in most towns to catch speeders, and the fines are huge, usually hundreds of dollars. They simply mail you the ticket, minus the photo. If you dispute it and it turns out it really was you, then the fine moves up into the thousands. There are very few accidents here. Do not speed in Switzerland.

There are random driver license/registration checkpoints set up by police.

Custom license plates are not allowed. Most license plates start with two letters representing the city you are registered in, such as LU for Lucerne, followed by six numbers and letters.

Parking spaces are small! If you own a slightly larger than average car, than it often becomes quite difficult to park it.

There are many, many great, economical small cars here in Europe. Dozens of different models with dozens of different features. You can really get a nice, luxurious, fashionable little car here that gets great gas mileage for a reasonable amount, at least outside of Switzerland.

Most cars are still stick shifts. Since most people here do most of their driving in cities, this make no sense whatsoever.

Almost all mailboxes are the same here, with a small section for letters above, and a larger door for packages and advertisement below. Everyone has a small plaque with their names inscribed on it, and another plaque that they use to indicate whether or not they want advertisements delivered to them.

All doors only lock with a key, so there is no way to lock yourself out of your home. Most doors also have handles, not knobs, so that if you can't use your hand to open the door(e.g. your hands are full of groceries), then you can use an elbow or your hip or whatever.

There are no smoke detectors in apartments.

Swiss keys are not like American. They have no notches, but rather a bunch of circular indentations. Much harder to copy or fake.

One can rent sheep here, and this is frequently done, to keep your lawn or field cropped nicely, as well as fertilized along the way.

Stores, factories, industrial, and residential areas are not separated into sections like in America. Sometimes you will find retail and commercial centers within apartment buildings and neighborhoods, and vice versa.

All children's names must come from a government-approved list. If the child is from another country, than his/her name must be proven to be acceptable within that country, via an official statement from that country's Embassy. There are no Dweezil Zappas, Moondusts, Apples, or Shitheads(pronounced Shuh-teed!) here.

Eating out is outrageously expensive here, yet groceries can often be found quite reasonably. Because of this mysterious disconnect, few people eat out very often. Also because of this, restaurant food is most often mediocre at best, with mediocre service. With no vibrant dining culture in Switzerland, there is very little demand to make excellent, innovative meals. I consider this epically tragic.

You must always pay for water in a restaurant, even if it comes from the tap, and it usually costs as much as a Coke or something similar. There are no -- repeat no -- free refills on anything.

Condiments, such as mayonnaise and ketchup, usually come in squeeze tubes, like toothpaste.

Cash is used much more often in Switzerland. It also comes in more denominations, such as two hundred, and one thousand. The smallest bills are tens, and anything smaller is in coins. They have small stuff, as well as 1, 2, and 5 Franc coins. All businesses have tons of cash on hand, so they don't blink twice if you buy a lollipop with a two hundred Franc bill. Very few robberies in Switzerland.

Personal checks are never used. Everything can be paid in cash, online, or via the bank's "Multimat", an ATM-like machine that accepts little chits with the bill info on them, and then debits your bank account for the amount.

One never pays for services, such as a car repair, at the point of service. All bills are mailed to you, and you pay them in one of the above methods.

The desire to "get rich", so prevalent in America, is not an obsession here. People are usually quite content with a normal income, even leaders of large corporations. The pay difference between employees and CEO's here is much, much narrower than in America. Doctor's also do not get into medicine to "strike it rich", they get into it because helping sick and injured people is what they want to do.

Cell phones are common, but not commonly used. It is very expensive to make a call. Same with texting. However, they work everywhere, no matter how rural, no matter if on the top of a mountain. There are no "dead zones".

Nudity, in advertisements and on TV, is considerably more common and accepted here. No muss, no fuss. Sexy Lingerie ads are frequently placed outside of stores for all to see, and there seems to be a lot of Lingerie stores!

There is very little air conditioning used here. Of course, the weather in Lucerne doesn't really call for it often, but even in the hotter southern climes, it is not common.

Switzerland is very "dog friendly". Dogs are allowed everywhere, in grocery stores, malls, shops, restaurants, and they are generally very well-behaved. All owners must take classes in dog-training and care.