I'm back, Baby!

To all my legions of fans, thank you for hanging in there and not giving up hope for another post, I appreciate your support, you're the reason I do this.

On a somewhat more serious note, it is good to be writing about my experiences again, it has been a really long time. My Mom came for a three week visit, which was great, but it really took up all my extra time, attention, and energy. On top of that, my computer is in the guest room and I do most of my writing late at night, which is when my Mom is sleeping. Very inconsiderate of her. Why can't she just stay up every night till 4 in the morning like me? Anyway, I don't even know where to start, there is so much to write about; my experiences with my Mom during her visit, new developments at work, new plans for the future, the relentless, mind numbing, soul-crushing, despair-filling, suicidal-thought inducing weather, World Cup Soccer, and so much more. So let's just do this!

I have never been interested in professional, televised sports. I just seem to have been born without that gene. I've always considered watching a bunch of overpaid, spoiled adult men playing a game for the highest bidder a serious waste of my time. Or maybe it was because it was never a part of the routine and ritual of my childhood, that it never became an occasion or opportunity for bonding with my dad or brother. Although this didn't seem to stop this very same brother from becoming obsessed with watching sports himself, at least later in life. I think maybe he picked it up in the military, because I don't really recall him watching too many sporting events while we lived in the same house, though this could be because we grew up with access to only 3 TV channels(4 if you include periodic PBS access, but you usually had to watch that out of the side of your eyes because the reception was so bad), only one of which came in very well, as well as the fact that we didn't get a color TV until I was well-advanced into my upbringing. Early adopters we were not. I always wondered why they insinuated "Little House on the Prairie" occurred in the past, because those kid's daily life seemed to have a lot in common with mine. Here is an excerpt from my childhood: "I'm done with choppin' the firewood Pa, so after I'm done tendin' to the animals can I go down and clean up in the creek?" "Why sure son, but first you'll have to go weed the garden, muck out the stalls, and check the perimeter fence. We don't want any varmints gettin' into the tomaters now do we? And by the way, the house isn't gonna paint itself, now is it? So get hoppin'!" Maybe that exact scenario never happened, I'm not sure, but I was a country boy, and no doubt about it. So how in the heck did I end up in Switzerland? I am most definitely a long way from home. "Country roaaaaaaads, take me hoooome, to a plaaaaaace I belooooong, central Oregon, mountain mamaaa, take me hoooooome, country roaaads". Don't misunderstand me, I had a great childhood, wouldn't change it for the world, and a curious side benefit of being worked like a slave by my parents for most of it is that every 'real' job that I've had since seems like a walk in the park by comparison!

Anyway, with World Cup fever gripping the entirety of Europe, I can't help but absorb a little twinge of interest in Soccer, or Futball as it is called over here. I know that the United States is not a "Soccer country", that the average American finds soccer about as interesting as a root canal, but the level of interest in Soccer over here in the father land surpasses that of Jesus. Even here in Switzerland, the land of no emotion, they can't get enough of it(especially considering they beat Spain the other day, which I gather from the reaction here is a feat equivalent to Cuba successfully invading and conquering the United States). Go figure. Like I said, though, even I am following the events of the World Cup loosely, and it was quite satisfying when the U.S. tied England, for whom soccer seems to be more important than breathing. How about that American goalie?! He stopped just about everything they kicked at him. Poor England. They've fallen from once being the rulers of most of the known world, to not being able to beat one of their former colonies at a game that the average American places on par with canned cheese in importance. Ah, the ignominy of it all!

Let's go over a couple of the idiosyncrasies of soccer. For one, how can so much of the world's population be so interested in a game that is about as interesting as watching a person on a starvation diet? Alright, nothing happening but a bunch of little men running back and forth on a field of grass and kicking a ball to each other......................nothing going on, nothing going on, nothing going on, nothing going on, nothing going on.........................nothing going on, nothing going on, nothing going on ............................... "What's that, you say? Somebody scored a goal? Hallelujah!"

For two, how can a sport be so popular that features a bunch of fully grown men, all of whom are millionaires, all of whom are simply playing for the team that is willing to pay them the most, regardless of where they come from, or where their cultural loyalties may lie, and who are such a bunch of pansies?! I'm referring, of course, to the inclination of these so-called athletes to fall down, clutch various extremities, and gyrate and cry like babies whenever an opponent touches them. Have you ever seen such a bunch of woosies in your life??!! I realize that these over dramatized, over-acted productions are for the benefit of the referees, and that their intent is to get a foul card called on the opponent, but how can they possibly live with themselves afterwards? As for myself, my pride and sense of self worth could never allow for me to act in this humiliating and emasculating fashion. And everybody knows it! Sometimes these guys really do get hurt, I know that, but it seems more often than not that when the incident is replayed on camera, everyone in the world who is watching can see that the alleged foul was not a foul at all, but at most a light nick on the calf, or something such as a 6-month old baby with colic would not get too upset about. Nothing is worth this. Yes, perhaps by falling down and acting as if my leg had just been ripped off by a Grizzly bear every time a member of the other team grazes my shin would help my team to win, but where is the fairness and sportsmanship in that? Where is the basic human decency? And is it worth it to have an embarrassing nickname for the rest of your life? Whenever they go out with their friends, they should have to introduce themselves like this to the ladies: "Hey, how you doin'? My name's 'Katie Crybaby', and these here are my friends 'Susie Sniffles', and 'Mommy's Boy'. We're professional soccer players, and we make an obscene amount of money by sacrificing our worth as human beings in order to win a pointless game. Want to go out sometime?"? Man up, Europe and the rest of the world, stop trying to win by acting like 3-year old girls! No wonder this sport has never gained traction in the U.S. At least in America we only try and win by utilizing barely legal, secret technology, or by consuming massive quantities of illegal, performance-enhancing drugs, or by having one team's fans try and distract the other team by waving a bunch of colorful streamers or giant 'Number One' fingers. Only the respectable, tried-and-true methods for us, darn it!

Lastly, how can a sport of this caliber, played at this level of competitiveness, be able to end in a tie? Isn't the whole point of sports games to win? I realize now that the World Cup is based on overall points, and not just individual competitions, but isn't there a law or rule somewhere that says for every match there should be a victor? There should be. Watching a game that is this boring, and then having the teams tie, is really unfair.

That's all for now, so I'll go ahead and apologize to all the overly sensitive people who may read my blog and become insulted or offended by my views. So sorry.

I will be writing my next Blog very soon, hopefully tomorrow, so check back in the next couple of days. I have a lot more to write about, and I should be including some pictures next time. Stay tuned!