Carnivaaaaaal!!!!

We survived Carnival! We weren't sure how it was going to go for us, seeing as we live very close to the Old Town, which is ground zero for the festivities, and we had heard many warnings and horror stories about the parades, roaming, costumed marching bands, and drunken revelers making so much noise that sleep would be impossible. In that respect, it turned out not to be nearly as bad as we feared. We live far enough off the main beaten track that we mostly just experienced fringe activities, with the exception of two parades and a few dancers, singers, and marching bands warming up and setting up in front of our building.

In another respect, the sheer scale and craziness of Carnival, or Fasnacht as it is called here, blew us away. We didn't expect anything nearly as awesome as what actually occurred. Thousands and thousands of people from all over Switzerland, Europe, and beyond converge on Lucerne for the festivities, and they all come in costume, all of them. Every kind of costume imaginable, no limits on outrageousness, many of them painstakingly handmade. Really incredible, especially considering this is Switzerland, the most staid, conservative, prim and proper country on the planet! It's as if the Swiss just hold all this craziness in all year long, and when Fasnacht rolls around, their inner party animal breaks out and takes control. Perhaps dressing up in elaborate costumes and creating an aura of anonymity allows them to express themselves in ways they could never do otherwise. Amazing to behold, and I'm glad we did. They really plan and prepare for this event all year long, the obvious massive amount of work that goes into making it a reality is very impressive. We have never experienced or witnessed a party on this grand of a scale. I find it somewhat interesting that they celebrate a series of religiously significant events by dressing up in ofttimes demonic costumes and drinking themselves silly, but who am I to judge? It's very difficult to describe in words the actual scope and feel and overall atmosphere of the festivities. I wish I could put video on this blog, but I haven't figured that out yet. I will try and link to some video in the future. Anyway, I've downloaded a few pictures which really don't do it justice, but better than nothing!
















February 25, 2010

So how about an update on our work situation? I think that we have both achieved a pretty good level of comfort with the rules, procedures, and type of play at our new casino. I just recently passed my 90 day probation evaluation, and they were surprisingly positive about my performance. I thought that I hadn't done nearly as well as they seemed to think I did! In any event, I didn't get fired. Maybe I'm a little too harsh on myself. After all, I was coming from the easiest, most kick back dealing job in the world into a situation that taxed my learning and adaptation abilities to the max. I should be surprised that I have done as well as I have. Let's go over again a few of the differences between Caesars Palace and the Grand Casino Lucerne. For starters, everything is in foreign languages. Note the plural. I don't have to deal with just one foreign language, but many of them. High German is what you learn in official language texts, and is what I know a bit of now. This is what most of the casino staff communicate in, although not all. Some speak one of several varieties of Swiss German, which comes in what seems like dozens of dialects, all with different pronunciations and many different words accompanying each version. The casino patrons also speak a bewildering variety of Swiss German, along with differing dialects of Italian, French, High German, Romansch, Spanish, Portuguese, Turkish, Russian, Greek, Czeck, Slovakian, and on and on. Swiss German does not even have a written counterpart to what is spoken. This is because there are so many dialects with so many different words used for the same things that a universal written language would be impossible. Apparently this is what Germany used to be like back in the day, probably before Prussian Chancellor Otto von Bismarck unified them into the German Empire in the nineteenth century. So, pretty much the only way to learn Swiss German is to pick a dialect, find a person that speaks it, and listen. They actually do have classes that teach it around town, but that's not going to happen. I have my plate full enough just trying to learn enough German to function adequately. If I have a problem with understanding someone, which is happening less and less often now, I just ask them to either speak in High German or English. Fortunately, most people here speak at least some English, and many speak it fluently. It blows my mind how many languages the average European can speak! It's not uncommon for someone to speak four, five, or more languages, and to be able to switch amongst them effortlessly. It doesn't seem like it should be possible. Most Americans have trouble with just English. I'm sorry, but I have to say something here. The average American is dumb as a box of rocks. This is why we have so many problems with our sociopolitical situation in America. If Americans took on average just twenty minutes a day to educate themselves on the issues confronting our society, we certainly wouldn't have as many issues to confront. However, they would rather listen to their favorite bonehead pundit tell them what the issues are, and how they should think! Ok, I'm done.

In addition to the language barriers, I have had to learn much more complex dealing rules and procedures, as well as far more complex games. Let's take Roulette. In America, Roulette players simply bet the outsides or some basic combination of the inside numbers, straight ups, splits, corners, streets, lines, and so on. Requires some learning, but not too complex. Here, we have all those bets, as well as 1, 2, and 3 number neighbor bets, small series(tier), large series(voisins), zero spiel, orphelins, finales, chevals, carres, schnapps, spiel seven nines, and more, in every denomination and amount possible. We also have call bets, which means that a player can throw money or chips at you at any time up until you waive off further bets, and call out, in a foreign language, what combination of bets they want. You then have to, if they haven't told you, find out what denomination they want it in, calculate the amount needed from the amount given, place the bet yourself, and give them any change they might have coming, all hopefully before the ball drops. Denominations of chips here come in $5's, 10's, 20's, 50's, 100's, and up. This may not mean much to non-casino people, but some of these are different denominations than any other casino in the world, and when you've never dealt with these denominations, it takes time to figure out how to convert and count different amounts. Add to this fact that the $10's are red, just like the $5's back in Vegas. Many players, because it amuses them, wait until the last second before waive-off to throw money at you and call out the most complex bet they can think of. Sometimes, I will have several players throwing money and chips at me simultaneously and yelling in multiple foreign dialects what they want, right before waive-off. I then have to decide what to do. It can be infuriating. Oh , and the waive-off. In Roulette, the dealer 'waives-off' any more bets before the ball drops, so players won't keep placing bets after the winning number is already known. This involves saying 'No more bets, please' as well as physically passing your hand over the layout. In America, this is rarely a problem, as the game is much simpler, and the players much more disciplined and considerate. Here, not the case. The dealer, me, must waive off any more bets with at least three or more spins remaining, because it takes at least that long to get the players to stop making their God Damn bets! Otherwise, they would continue to make their bets right up to, and after, the ball dropped. At busy times, I sometimes have to call 'No more bets, please' while waiving my hand over the layout very early, then repeat the words and motion multiple times, in increasing volume, until I am yelling and sobbing at the top of my lungs "NO MORE BETS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, NO MORE BETS, PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASE!", and frantically draping my body and arms over the layout, pushing and slapping people's hands and bodies out of my way in my desperation to get them to stop, kind of like hacking my way through a jungle with a machete. "Hey, that's my butt your placing that bet on, not 14!" , "Ooh, I didn't know you thought of me like that", "Ouch, that's my ear!" "Please stop hurting me!". Good fun.

Blackjack is also harder, though not as bad. At Caesars, most BJ tables had 5 spots, no side bets, and only one person per spot could bet. A maximum possibility of 5 bets. Here, there are 6 spots, a side bet (Perfect Pairs), and three people per spot, and side bet, are able to place bets! This makes it possible to have 36 possible bets on the table every hand! This is not uncommon.

The legal age to gamble here in Switzerland is 18. This is, in my opinion, far too young. To see peach fuzz-faced young boys and bubble gum chewing young girls in a casino gambling, and chain smoking, is just wrong. Yes, chain smoking. They start smoking young over here. I think it's not uncommon for kids here to get their first custom lighter and pack of smokes for Christmas at around the age of ten, from their parents. 'Here ya go, Tommy, light up..... its fun!' I thought that I had dealt with a lot of smokers in my life, having worked in casino's for 14 years, but that was all child's play compared to this. I had really only dealt with some packs of Chinese chain smokers at Caesars on occasion. I hadn't really, really observed serious chain smokers on a daily basis until now. It is disconcerting. To see everyone at your table with a cigarette in their hands constantly, to see them barely ever take a breath of air without it being accompanied by cigarette smoke, to see them extinguish one cigarette only to immediately light another, is very, very sobering. I keep thinking that at any moment they are just going to fall off their chair dead, but they don't, and the younger they are, the more likely they are to smoke. I'm starting to develop a theory that might explain things. What if the Swiss are aliens from another planet, and there is some vital substance in cigarette smoke that, combined with our particular atmospheric makeup, enables them to breathe without extra equipment? This could explain many things that are different about the Swiss, their inexplicable Anal Retentiveness, their singular lack of an understandable sense of humor, their preference for dark colors, their obsession with and love of arbitrary rules and procedures, their extreme and bizarre hyper efficiency, and so on. But back to the age thing. The age of 18 is too young to be in a casino gambling, teenagers do not have the emotional and mental maturity to handle gambling, or drinking for that matter. They should not be there, just like American teenagers should not be able to drive at sixteen. It's just too young. Here, it is seventeen, and that is still too young.

I'm going to go ahead and post this, even though I wanted to say more about work and work-related issues, simply because I won't have much time or ability to write any more for a few days. We are in the process of moving, and I will lose home Internet access for awhile until we get everything set up. Will try and write another this next week about our moving experience, taxes and how you pay them here, our Engelberg ski resort hike, and more! Stay tuned.