I'm not sure if more than my parents, my wife, and one or two other people ever read my Blog, but I really do enjoy writing it. If nothing else, it will be a great reminder of my time here in Switzerland. For that reason alone, and for the entertainment of those who so enjoyed my last post on the ever so strange idiosyncrasies of Swiss culture, here is a few more odd facts on the mind-blowingly strange planet Switzerland!
Velcro was invented by George de Mestral, a Swiss engineer, in 1945
Switzerland has four official languages: German, French, Italian, and Romansh. Most Swiss speak these four languages, and many also speak English. There are also 26 dialects of Swiss German, and 5 dialects of Romansh, which is only spoken here, and only as a first language by 2 percent of the population. Insane in the membrane!
Switzerland has the second largest military, per capita, in the world, and the highest private gun ownership rates in the world, all with virtually zero violent crime
It is illegal to mow your lawn on Sundays
It is illegal to wash your clothes on Sundays and Holidays
California is more than 10 times bigger than Switzerland, Oregon is six times bigger. Oregon has a population of about 4 million, and Switzerland has a population of about 7.5 million
Swiss Miss cocoa did not come from Switzerland. It came from Italy.
There are more banks than dentists in Switzerland
Switzerland has the second highest number of 100+ year old people, per capita, in the world. Second only to Japan. This will soon change, seeing as all young people now chain smoke
It is against the law to slam your car door in Switzerland between 10pm and 7am . It causes undo heart rate elevations among all the 100+ year old people
Switzerland was the last country to hold a legal execution for a witch in 1782
In 1471 a chicken in Basil, Switzerland was found guilty of laying a brightly colored egg "in defiance of natural law". It was burned at the stake as a "devil in disguise". The Swiss have not changed much since.
Switzerland has enough bomb shelters to protect every resident currently living in the country
The song "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple is about the smoke from a casino fire when a fan at a Frank Zappa concert accidentally burnt down the casino at Montreaux, leading to smoke over the waters of Lake Geneva
Every Swiss citizen is required by law to have their own bomb shelter or have access to a bomb shelter
In Switzerland, "Swiss cheese" is not called "Swiss cheese", it is called Emmentaler, and has been made in the Emmental valley since at least the 15 century
Switzerland is one of only two countries with a square flag. This flag was the basis for the Red Cross symbol, which was founded here
About 20% of the people living in Switzerland are foreigners
The thumb is used to indicate "1" when counting with fingers, not the index finger. This can be very confusing
Here, FM radio stations use both even and odd frequencies. In America, only odd frequencies are used
Switzerland has the highest number of hospital beds per capita in the world: 5.8
The same barbarian tribes, the Celts, settled Switzerland, as well as parts of England, Scotland, and Ireland. You can seriously hear the similarities between Swiss German and Gaelic.
Swiss provinces are called cantons
And last, but definitely not least....................In Switzerland, it is illegal to mow your front lawn while dressed as Elvis!!!!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
A little of this, a little of that
There really hasn't been that much going on lately, other than the rapidly deteriorating work environment, so I'm just going to wander from topic to topic, and maybe cover a few things about Switzerland and Swiss culture that I haven't had the chance, or have forgotten, to fit in before.
I've discovered something profound about myself during my tenure here on the planet of Switzerland. It is this: I really don't like rain. Oh, in small quantities every now and then it's OK, or, perhaps, an evening summer thunderstorm once in a while is a sublime experience. But the relentless, never-ending, soggy, misty, damp, wet downpour that has been going on now for a month, with the only change being that of intensity, fog density, and thickness of clouds, is quite enough, thank you. If I remember correctly, we have had approximately 4 and a half days of partial sunshine this year. Not good seeing as it is now May 15th! I guess that's 1 sunny day a month. Ssssssuper! Ten years in Las Vegas has not prepared me well for this, nor did the previous time spent on cruise ships blithely following the best weather around the world, nor did the previous years in Lake Tahoe. I haven't experienced extended weather like this since my two miserable winters in Portland, Oregon, which, in retrospect, were probably the lowest points of my life. The many years since then had blunted and mellowed the crushing feelings of depression that I experienced there, and allowed me to forget the very solid reasons that I left. I really like Portland, but only to visit. I fully understand why Portland and Seattle are the suicide and serial killer capitals of America. It really takes a unique type of person to not be bothered by endless water falling from the heavens, constant grey, lowering skies, mold growing out of your ears, and a complete absence of sunshine. Does the sun exist anymore? Someone please tell me. "Sunshine, oh sunshine, wherever are you, my sunshine?"
Changing subjects to...........Paying taxes is much easier here in Switzerland. In fact, all taxes are simply taken out of our paychecks before we get them, and that's it! No need to fill out complicated form after form at the beginning of each year, no need to keep and organize expenses, receipts, charitable donations, etc all throughout the year. Your taxes are taken out of your paycheck, and that's it! Did I just repeat myself? Well, I thought I should for emphasis. If you own real property and have lots of investments, then things do get a bit more complex. Now, for all those morons(translation: Republicans) out there who probably think people in 'Socialist Europe' pay much higher taxes than Americans in order to pay for all their Socialist entitlement programs.......think again. Our total package of taxes on our paycheck comes to just under 18%. That includes all income taxes, workman's comp, and Switzerland's version of Social Security and Medicare. Our total taxes in America on our paychecks was well over 30%, and that was in relatively low-tax Nevada. In many American states the taxes are considerably higher than that. For these taxes, the Swiss get a much higher level of government services, and everything is well-maintained, the roads, freeways, bridges, parks, and government buildings are immaculate. In America, 18% of our GDP goes towards paying for a tragically broken medical system, and another 4.5% for military spending. Military spending in the U.S. alone consumes 38-44% of total government tax revenue.
A little on corporate tax differences as well. A lot of people think that the only reason that corporations in America are moving their companies and manufacturing hubs overseas, mainly to China, is because of cheaper labor. While that is a reason, there is another, perhaps more compelling, one. The U.S. has by many measures the highest corporate tax rates in the world, at an average of 39.3%. In comparison, Switzerland's is 8.9%, with various cantonal tax rates of up to 12%, for a maximum of about 20%, half that of the U.S., and many countries in the world have much lower than this. Imagine how much these tax rates stifle the global competitiveness of America, as well as stifling growth within the country, and helping to keep unemployment at higher than optimal rates. Unemployment in Switzerland is at an all-time high now of 4.4%, almost three times that of it's historic average of 1.5%! Compare that to America's almost 10% rate currently(thanks to Bush), and it's historic 'optimum' of 4-5%. A little food for thought.
There are also sales taxes on most goods and services(about 7.6%) , just like America, but here it is just included in the price of the product or service, not tacked on when you actually buy something. I much prefer the way they do it here. It always bothered me that I had to calculate the 'real' price of everything in the States by mentally adding the tax, especially on big ticket items. It's misleading, sometimes confusing, and, I feel, dishonest. Here, whatever the price is marked is what you pay at the cashier. It's more expensive than America, but at least it's nice and simple.
One last tidbit on taxes. I may have mentioned this before, but I will mention it again. There are very few countries in the world who double-tax the income of their citizens who work overseas. By double-tax I mean that for Americans who make over approximately $82,000 a year by working for a company overseas, regardless of whether the company is American or not, have to pay taxes twice. That's right, double taxation without representation! Sound familiar? For those for whom it doesn't, try reading a little history now and then. Again, think about how this affects America's competitiveness globally. Actually, there are only three countries in the world who do this: America....the Philippines...........and North Korea. The new 'Axis of Evil'.
An American might think that they have a lot of insurance. Health insurance, dental insurance, auto insurance, life insurance, liability insurance, so on and so forth. Well, I'm here to tell you you don't know jack about insurance until you've lived in Switzerland! They have insurance here for everything. Walking around town and get hit by a car? They got insurance for that. Get your bike stolen? They got insurance for that. Cut yourself shaving? They got insurance for that(just kidding). Seriously though, they have insurance for every possible accident, theft, or loss of anything for any reason, and people buy it. Everyone here has renters insurance and everyday liability insurance, and personal insurance. They have all their bases covered. The 'Swiss way'.
Speaking of getting your bike stolen, I got mine stolen. Did I have insurance? Afraid not. We hadn't gotten around to it when the deed happened. It's funny, I am a big mountain biker, and I rode my bikes all over Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Oregon, and so on, and never had any bike stolen. I had to move to 'crime free' Switzerland to get it done. That is Ironic. Two thousand bucks down the drain, but what are you gonna do? Life goes on. One of the dealers at work, out of the kindness of her heart, gave me one of her old commuter bikes, and I'm back in business. Not exactly hitting the off-road trails, but it gets me to work and back and around town, and that is good enough.
Think the drunk driving laws in some of the States are harsh? If you do, then don't come to Switzerland, knock some back, and then hit the road. They have a 'zero tolerance' policy, and the laws to back it up. That's right, zero tolerance. If you are pulled over, and you have any trace of alcohol in your system at all, you are going to jail, paying a huuuuuuuuuuuge fine, and will be losing your license for a minimum of 6 months. That's the first offense. Don't even think of going for a second offense, you will never see the light of day. They have very few drunk driving problems here. As I've mentioned before, many more people per capita ride bikes to get around here. So, if you're caught riding your bike with any alcohol in your system? A big fine and you lose your license for a minimum of a month. That's right, caught riding your bike under the influence? You're toast.
A Swiss person who just won the national lottery
A Swiss person who has just been told that they are out of his favorite Muesli
A "normal" Swiss person
I've discovered something profound about myself during my tenure here on the planet of Switzerland. It is this: I really don't like rain. Oh, in small quantities every now and then it's OK, or, perhaps, an evening summer thunderstorm once in a while is a sublime experience. But the relentless, never-ending, soggy, misty, damp, wet downpour that has been going on now for a month, with the only change being that of intensity, fog density, and thickness of clouds, is quite enough, thank you. If I remember correctly, we have had approximately 4 and a half days of partial sunshine this year. Not good seeing as it is now May 15th! I guess that's 1 sunny day a month. Ssssssuper! Ten years in Las Vegas has not prepared me well for this, nor did the previous time spent on cruise ships blithely following the best weather around the world, nor did the previous years in Lake Tahoe. I haven't experienced extended weather like this since my two miserable winters in Portland, Oregon, which, in retrospect, were probably the lowest points of my life. The many years since then had blunted and mellowed the crushing feelings of depression that I experienced there, and allowed me to forget the very solid reasons that I left. I really like Portland, but only to visit. I fully understand why Portland and Seattle are the suicide and serial killer capitals of America. It really takes a unique type of person to not be bothered by endless water falling from the heavens, constant grey, lowering skies, mold growing out of your ears, and a complete absence of sunshine. Does the sun exist anymore? Someone please tell me. "Sunshine, oh sunshine, wherever are you, my sunshine?"
Changing subjects to...........Paying taxes is much easier here in Switzerland. In fact, all taxes are simply taken out of our paychecks before we get them, and that's it! No need to fill out complicated form after form at the beginning of each year, no need to keep and organize expenses, receipts, charitable donations, etc all throughout the year. Your taxes are taken out of your paycheck, and that's it! Did I just repeat myself? Well, I thought I should for emphasis. If you own real property and have lots of investments, then things do get a bit more complex. Now, for all those morons(translation: Republicans) out there who probably think people in 'Socialist Europe' pay much higher taxes than Americans in order to pay for all their Socialist entitlement programs.......think again. Our total package of taxes on our paycheck comes to just under 18%. That includes all income taxes, workman's comp, and Switzerland's version of Social Security and Medicare. Our total taxes in America on our paychecks was well over 30%, and that was in relatively low-tax Nevada. In many American states the taxes are considerably higher than that. For these taxes, the Swiss get a much higher level of government services, and everything is well-maintained, the roads, freeways, bridges, parks, and government buildings are immaculate. In America, 18% of our GDP goes towards paying for a tragically broken medical system, and another 4.5% for military spending. Military spending in the U.S. alone consumes 38-44% of total government tax revenue.
A little on corporate tax differences as well. A lot of people think that the only reason that corporations in America are moving their companies and manufacturing hubs overseas, mainly to China, is because of cheaper labor. While that is a reason, there is another, perhaps more compelling, one. The U.S. has by many measures the highest corporate tax rates in the world, at an average of 39.3%. In comparison, Switzerland's is 8.9%, with various cantonal tax rates of up to 12%, for a maximum of about 20%, half that of the U.S., and many countries in the world have much lower than this. Imagine how much these tax rates stifle the global competitiveness of America, as well as stifling growth within the country, and helping to keep unemployment at higher than optimal rates. Unemployment in Switzerland is at an all-time high now of 4.4%, almost three times that of it's historic average of 1.5%! Compare that to America's almost 10% rate currently(thanks to Bush), and it's historic 'optimum' of 4-5%. A little food for thought.
There are also sales taxes on most goods and services(about 7.6%) , just like America, but here it is just included in the price of the product or service, not tacked on when you actually buy something. I much prefer the way they do it here. It always bothered me that I had to calculate the 'real' price of everything in the States by mentally adding the tax, especially on big ticket items. It's misleading, sometimes confusing, and, I feel, dishonest. Here, whatever the price is marked is what you pay at the cashier. It's more expensive than America, but at least it's nice and simple.
One last tidbit on taxes. I may have mentioned this before, but I will mention it again. There are very few countries in the world who double-tax the income of their citizens who work overseas. By double-tax I mean that for Americans who make over approximately $82,000 a year by working for a company overseas, regardless of whether the company is American or not, have to pay taxes twice. That's right, double taxation without representation! Sound familiar? For those for whom it doesn't, try reading a little history now and then. Again, think about how this affects America's competitiveness globally. Actually, there are only three countries in the world who do this: America....the Philippines...........and North Korea. The new 'Axis of Evil'.
An American might think that they have a lot of insurance. Health insurance, dental insurance, auto insurance, life insurance, liability insurance, so on and so forth. Well, I'm here to tell you you don't know jack about insurance until you've lived in Switzerland! They have insurance here for everything. Walking around town and get hit by a car? They got insurance for that. Get your bike stolen? They got insurance for that. Cut yourself shaving? They got insurance for that(just kidding). Seriously though, they have insurance for every possible accident, theft, or loss of anything for any reason, and people buy it. Everyone here has renters insurance and everyday liability insurance, and personal insurance. They have all their bases covered. The 'Swiss way'.
Speaking of getting your bike stolen, I got mine stolen. Did I have insurance? Afraid not. We hadn't gotten around to it when the deed happened. It's funny, I am a big mountain biker, and I rode my bikes all over Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Oregon, and so on, and never had any bike stolen. I had to move to 'crime free' Switzerland to get it done. That is Ironic. Two thousand bucks down the drain, but what are you gonna do? Life goes on. One of the dealers at work, out of the kindness of her heart, gave me one of her old commuter bikes, and I'm back in business. Not exactly hitting the off-road trails, but it gets me to work and back and around town, and that is good enough.
Think the drunk driving laws in some of the States are harsh? If you do, then don't come to Switzerland, knock some back, and then hit the road. They have a 'zero tolerance' policy, and the laws to back it up. That's right, zero tolerance. If you are pulled over, and you have any trace of alcohol in your system at all, you are going to jail, paying a huuuuuuuuuuuge fine, and will be losing your license for a minimum of 6 months. That's the first offense. Don't even think of going for a second offense, you will never see the light of day. They have very few drunk driving problems here. As I've mentioned before, many more people per capita ride bikes to get around here. So, if you're caught riding your bike with any alcohol in your system? A big fine and you lose your license for a minimum of a month. That's right, caught riding your bike under the influence? You're toast.
A Swiss person who just won the national lottery
A Swiss person who has just been told that they are out of his favorite Muesli
A "normal" Swiss person
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Differences between Swiss and Americans
I'd like to write about the differences between Swiss gamblers and American gamblers. All non-casino people who read the following may not understand all of it, but I still feel compelled to write it.
The average Swiss gambler is nothing, absolutely nothing, like the average American gambler. Here, there is virtually no laughing or joking at the tables, no yelling or even talking loudly, no pounding the layout, or high-fiving, or jumping up and down, or patting each other on the back, in response to a win or loss. There is also no cursing, swearing, or glaring at the dealer, or at anyone else for that matter. There is no blaming the dealer for 'bad cards' , or 'bad karma', or for a 'bad shuffle'. There are never any threats issued, or mothers disrespected. Getting overly emotional about anything is simply considered bad form by the Swiss. Obviously, this has both its good aspects, and its bad aspects. No assholes blaming me for every bad card that comes out of the shoe, no high rollers threatening my unborn children if they don't win the next hand. Also, booooooooriiiiiiiiiing. Before moving to and living in Switzerland, I had no idea how extremely emotional Americans are! I always saw them as mostly arrogant and ignorant, but not dramatic. I always compared Americans to Mexicans, Cubans, Puerto Ricans, or Dominicans, and of course, compared to those cultures, Americans are very subdued. Compared to the Swiss, however, Americans are like Speedy Gonzales!
Another major difference between Swiss and American gamblers is their respective skill levels. Americans are much more skilled on average than the Swiss. I really can't describe or explain how bad the Swiss are at gambling, especially Blackjack. I don't have the vocabulary, words just do not do it justice. Try to remember the worst Blackjack player you have ever seen, the most clueless, naive, ignorant buffoon of gambling you have ever witnessed.........and then multiply that by an entire country. The Swiss will split everything that can be split, no matter what, they will double anything that can be doubled, no matter what. They will stay on 5, or hit 19, purely on whim. The dealer's up card is irrelevant in the Swiss psyche. If there is a side bet, they will bet it, no matter how bad the odds. If there is an empty spot on the table in addition to their own, they will bet on it, up to and including the entire table. They always figure the more betting spots they have covered, the better chances of winning! The Swiss wouldn't know 'money management' if it came along and hit them in the face. I know that I am sometimes prone to exaggeration(who...me?), but I swear that I am not exaggerating when I say that the Swiss are the worst gamblers to ever draw breath on the face of planet Earth. This is why the table hold percentages here are 2 1/2 times those of Las Vegas!
At least their game, though, they just keep trying and trying, pulling more and more money out. Interestingly, they don't seem to learn from their mistakes. Regardless of how many times a particular action causes them to lose, they will just repeat it over and over again. At first, this bothered me, and I tried to explain to them why they shouldn't do something like, say, constantly split tens, or hit a hard eighteen, or stay on 5. However, the Swiss are not open to explanation, they do not like it when someone tells them they are doing something wrong. In the best case, they react with pity and smug superiority. How could I, a mere dealer, think to advise them on how to play Blackjack? I learned quickly to only encourage bad moves. "Oh, you want to split Tens?! Well, why not? That's a great idea! Do it again, cause you rock!!" Now, my only enjoyment is watching them make one stupid move after another, and taking their money......................... all with a look of smug superiority on my face.
A little about "Customer Service" in the Grand Casino Lucerne. I've been dealing now for 14 years, and during this time I have learned a few things about customer service--American style. Lets go over customer service--European style. At the Grand Casino Lucerne, Croupiers(dealers) are allowed to greet the customers with a 'Hello', or 'Good Evening', and then ask what denomination of chips they would like. We are not allowed to ask the players anything about themselves, or initiate any kind of conversation. If we are asked specific questions of any kind, we must answer them with as few words as possible, and attempt to curtail any possibility of extended conversation. We must not, under any circumstances, attempt to establish any kind of 'rapport', or friendly camaraderie. We are there to deal, not make friends. If a customer asks us a question, such as directions to the bathroom or cashier, or attempts to engage us in conversation outside of the pit, say on our way to the break room, we are to immediately return to the pit and notify a Pit Boss. The Pit Boss will then call surveillance so that they can place a camera on us, just in case something 'suspicious' goes down. If a customer, or group of customers, makes any kind of noise above normal conversational tones, they are immediately asked to tone it down. Absolutely no hitting the table, no yelling or laughing loudly, no slapping each other on the back or high fives, no jumping up and down, etc. All music is kept very low in volume in the casino, and only mellow tunes are played. Anything that could lead to rambunctiousness and rowdiness is avoided. That is the extent of Customer Service at the Grand Casino Lucerne. When my wife, Timea, first started working here, she was optimistic that perhaps they would attempt to mine her knowledge of customer service learned in Las Vegas. They weren't interested. She offered to meet with the Casino manager one on one and go over some of the marketing tactics and strategies they utilize in Las Vegas. She volunteered to write down much of what she had learned from her customer service training in Las Vegas. After perusing this information, however, our new bosses indicated that there was nothing useful in them, that Americans obviously knew very little about 'proper' customer service.
Fraternizing between management and dealers, outside of official functions sanctioned by the Casino, is frowned upon. We can't just 'hang out' with a supervisor or Pit Boss after hours or on our days off. If a dealer verbally disagrees with a person in a management position during work hours, for any reason, regarding anything at all, then the manager will most likely e-mail the Casino director, and a meeting will be scheduled to address your insubordination. There is no friendly give and take, no respectful discussion, explanations, or uncertainties. What the manager says is law, regardless of its accuracy, regardless of the testimony of the players, regardless of anything. Every mistake made on the table is reviewed by surveillance before a decision is made, regardless of how small monetarily. You accidentally swept a $5 bet on black on Roulette? You know it, and the customer knows it? Doesn't matter, surveillance will be called, the tapes will be reviewed, and then the decision will be made. Yours and the customers input is disregarded. Here, there is very little trust of employees, and even less respect. There is no recognition of your years of experience, no recognition that you are an intelligent, responsible human being. You are a dealer, and you will do what you are told. Period.
I have talked quite a bit about the smoking situation here in Switzerland, so everyone who reads this Blog will be quite familiar with the fact that the Swiss live in the Fifties when it comes to their attitudes and knowledge regarding cigarettes. They honestly don't seem to be aware of any of the studies or facts or information that has come to light in the last 60 years regarding the harm of smoking. All Swiss chain smoke with the innocence, smugness, and naivete of a Fifties B-movie starlet. What I haven't mentioned yet is that the different cantons of Switzerland have, in the last few years, passed various laws that have outlawed in some way the smoking of cigarettes in public places. Nothing like what parts of America and the UK have passed, but at least a baby step in the right direction. However, there is a loophole (how did that get there?!) that allows establishments like the Grand Casino Lucerne to only have separate, enclosed areas for non-smokers. This new law went into effect on May 1st. My wife and I, before we decided to take these jobs and move to Switzerland, were told that the new law would go into effect at the beginning of 2010......but it was delayed. We were still hopeful that when it finally did go into effect that it would improve the working environment.................. We have never been so wrong in our lives.
To elaborate, I first have to give you a little preamble to our current situation. The gaming tables at the Grand Casino Lucerne are all located in a large, old ballroom called the "Grand Jeu", within the very old palace that houses the totality of the casino and all of it's support functions. "Grand Jeu" basically means the Great Play in French. When they converted the Grand Jeu to partially non-smoking, they built a floor-to-ceiling glass wall that sealed off one third of the casino floor for non-smoking gaming. They left the other two-thirds for smokers. Now, at one end of the Grand Jeu, doors used to open to the lobby, and at the other end, there was a large open walkway that connected to the slots area. In order to build the smokers area, they closed the doors to the lobby, which became non-smoking, and built a glass wall across the other end to the non-smoking part of the slots area. This effectively sealed off any air flow, and made the smoking area self-contained. Add to this the fact that there is zero air filtration systems in place, and zero air conditioning. Now, pack in nothing but 3-400 Swiss chain smokers into a much smaller-than-before area with no air flow, no air filtration, and no air conditioning, and you have a recipe that is more effective than the gas chambers of Auschwitz. It is the most toxic, poisonous atmosphere that anyone could possibly imagine in a work environment. It is like working in a 'sauna of death'. How could the owners of the casino have possibly thought that this would work? Of course, even the dealers who were before models of obsequiousness, now are complaining that they cannot work in these conditions. Do you know what management's short-term solution was?..... placing air freshener hangers, made for cars, from the table limit signs. They're take on the issue was that the smell of the cigarettes could be at least partially countered by this tactic. The fact that the dealers and supervisors working the floor might be a little more concerned about the possible negative short and long-term health affects of breathing in tons of second hand smoke for eight hours a day never crossed their minds. Things will quickly be coming to a head, and I believe that our days here are numbered.
Sorry for the downer Blog, but some frustration has been building up, and this is probably the healthiest way to let it out. Till next time, Bye!
The average Swiss gambler is nothing, absolutely nothing, like the average American gambler. Here, there is virtually no laughing or joking at the tables, no yelling or even talking loudly, no pounding the layout, or high-fiving, or jumping up and down, or patting each other on the back, in response to a win or loss. There is also no cursing, swearing, or glaring at the dealer, or at anyone else for that matter. There is no blaming the dealer for 'bad cards' , or 'bad karma', or for a 'bad shuffle'. There are never any threats issued, or mothers disrespected. Getting overly emotional about anything is simply considered bad form by the Swiss. Obviously, this has both its good aspects, and its bad aspects. No assholes blaming me for every bad card that comes out of the shoe, no high rollers threatening my unborn children if they don't win the next hand. Also, booooooooriiiiiiiiiing. Before moving to and living in Switzerland, I had no idea how extremely emotional Americans are! I always saw them as mostly arrogant and ignorant, but not dramatic. I always compared Americans to Mexicans, Cubans, Puerto Ricans, or Dominicans, and of course, compared to those cultures, Americans are very subdued. Compared to the Swiss, however, Americans are like Speedy Gonzales!
Another major difference between Swiss and American gamblers is their respective skill levels. Americans are much more skilled on average than the Swiss. I really can't describe or explain how bad the Swiss are at gambling, especially Blackjack. I don't have the vocabulary, words just do not do it justice. Try to remember the worst Blackjack player you have ever seen, the most clueless, naive, ignorant buffoon of gambling you have ever witnessed.........and then multiply that by an entire country. The Swiss will split everything that can be split, no matter what, they will double anything that can be doubled, no matter what. They will stay on 5, or hit 19, purely on whim. The dealer's up card is irrelevant in the Swiss psyche. If there is a side bet, they will bet it, no matter how bad the odds. If there is an empty spot on the table in addition to their own, they will bet on it, up to and including the entire table. They always figure the more betting spots they have covered, the better chances of winning! The Swiss wouldn't know 'money management' if it came along and hit them in the face. I know that I am sometimes prone to exaggeration(who...me?), but I swear that I am not exaggerating when I say that the Swiss are the worst gamblers to ever draw breath on the face of planet Earth. This is why the table hold percentages here are 2 1/2 times those of Las Vegas!
At least their game, though, they just keep trying and trying, pulling more and more money out. Interestingly, they don't seem to learn from their mistakes. Regardless of how many times a particular action causes them to lose, they will just repeat it over and over again. At first, this bothered me, and I tried to explain to them why they shouldn't do something like, say, constantly split tens, or hit a hard eighteen, or stay on 5. However, the Swiss are not open to explanation, they do not like it when someone tells them they are doing something wrong. In the best case, they react with pity and smug superiority. How could I, a mere dealer, think to advise them on how to play Blackjack? I learned quickly to only encourage bad moves. "Oh, you want to split Tens?! Well, why not? That's a great idea! Do it again, cause you rock!!" Now, my only enjoyment is watching them make one stupid move after another, and taking their money......................... all with a look of smug superiority on my face.
A little about "Customer Service" in the Grand Casino Lucerne. I've been dealing now for 14 years, and during this time I have learned a few things about customer service--American style. Lets go over customer service--European style. At the Grand Casino Lucerne, Croupiers(dealers) are allowed to greet the customers with a 'Hello', or 'Good Evening', and then ask what denomination of chips they would like. We are not allowed to ask the players anything about themselves, or initiate any kind of conversation. If we are asked specific questions of any kind, we must answer them with as few words as possible, and attempt to curtail any possibility of extended conversation. We must not, under any circumstances, attempt to establish any kind of 'rapport', or friendly camaraderie. We are there to deal, not make friends. If a customer asks us a question, such as directions to the bathroom or cashier, or attempts to engage us in conversation outside of the pit, say on our way to the break room, we are to immediately return to the pit and notify a Pit Boss. The Pit Boss will then call surveillance so that they can place a camera on us, just in case something 'suspicious' goes down. If a customer, or group of customers, makes any kind of noise above normal conversational tones, they are immediately asked to tone it down. Absolutely no hitting the table, no yelling or laughing loudly, no slapping each other on the back or high fives, no jumping up and down, etc. All music is kept very low in volume in the casino, and only mellow tunes are played. Anything that could lead to rambunctiousness and rowdiness is avoided. That is the extent of Customer Service at the Grand Casino Lucerne. When my wife, Timea, first started working here, she was optimistic that perhaps they would attempt to mine her knowledge of customer service learned in Las Vegas. They weren't interested. She offered to meet with the Casino manager one on one and go over some of the marketing tactics and strategies they utilize in Las Vegas. She volunteered to write down much of what she had learned from her customer service training in Las Vegas. After perusing this information, however, our new bosses indicated that there was nothing useful in them, that Americans obviously knew very little about 'proper' customer service.
Fraternizing between management and dealers, outside of official functions sanctioned by the Casino, is frowned upon. We can't just 'hang out' with a supervisor or Pit Boss after hours or on our days off. If a dealer verbally disagrees with a person in a management position during work hours, for any reason, regarding anything at all, then the manager will most likely e-mail the Casino director, and a meeting will be scheduled to address your insubordination. There is no friendly give and take, no respectful discussion, explanations, or uncertainties. What the manager says is law, regardless of its accuracy, regardless of the testimony of the players, regardless of anything. Every mistake made on the table is reviewed by surveillance before a decision is made, regardless of how small monetarily. You accidentally swept a $5 bet on black on Roulette? You know it, and the customer knows it? Doesn't matter, surveillance will be called, the tapes will be reviewed, and then the decision will be made. Yours and the customers input is disregarded. Here, there is very little trust of employees, and even less respect. There is no recognition of your years of experience, no recognition that you are an intelligent, responsible human being. You are a dealer, and you will do what you are told. Period.
I have talked quite a bit about the smoking situation here in Switzerland, so everyone who reads this Blog will be quite familiar with the fact that the Swiss live in the Fifties when it comes to their attitudes and knowledge regarding cigarettes. They honestly don't seem to be aware of any of the studies or facts or information that has come to light in the last 60 years regarding the harm of smoking. All Swiss chain smoke with the innocence, smugness, and naivete of a Fifties B-movie starlet. What I haven't mentioned yet is that the different cantons of Switzerland have, in the last few years, passed various laws that have outlawed in some way the smoking of cigarettes in public places. Nothing like what parts of America and the UK have passed, but at least a baby step in the right direction. However, there is a loophole (how did that get there?!) that allows establishments like the Grand Casino Lucerne to only have separate, enclosed areas for non-smokers. This new law went into effect on May 1st. My wife and I, before we decided to take these jobs and move to Switzerland, were told that the new law would go into effect at the beginning of 2010......but it was delayed. We were still hopeful that when it finally did go into effect that it would improve the working environment.................. We have never been so wrong in our lives.
To elaborate, I first have to give you a little preamble to our current situation. The gaming tables at the Grand Casino Lucerne are all located in a large, old ballroom called the "Grand Jeu", within the very old palace that houses the totality of the casino and all of it's support functions. "Grand Jeu" basically means the Great Play in French. When they converted the Grand Jeu to partially non-smoking, they built a floor-to-ceiling glass wall that sealed off one third of the casino floor for non-smoking gaming. They left the other two-thirds for smokers. Now, at one end of the Grand Jeu, doors used to open to the lobby, and at the other end, there was a large open walkway that connected to the slots area. In order to build the smokers area, they closed the doors to the lobby, which became non-smoking, and built a glass wall across the other end to the non-smoking part of the slots area. This effectively sealed off any air flow, and made the smoking area self-contained. Add to this the fact that there is zero air filtration systems in place, and zero air conditioning. Now, pack in nothing but 3-400 Swiss chain smokers into a much smaller-than-before area with no air flow, no air filtration, and no air conditioning, and you have a recipe that is more effective than the gas chambers of Auschwitz. It is the most toxic, poisonous atmosphere that anyone could possibly imagine in a work environment. It is like working in a 'sauna of death'. How could the owners of the casino have possibly thought that this would work? Of course, even the dealers who were before models of obsequiousness, now are complaining that they cannot work in these conditions. Do you know what management's short-term solution was?..... placing air freshener hangers, made for cars, from the table limit signs. They're take on the issue was that the smell of the cigarettes could be at least partially countered by this tactic. The fact that the dealers and supervisors working the floor might be a little more concerned about the possible negative short and long-term health affects of breathing in tons of second hand smoke for eight hours a day never crossed their minds. Things will quickly be coming to a head, and I believe that our days here are numbered.
Sorry for the downer Blog, but some frustration has been building up, and this is probably the healthiest way to let it out. Till next time, Bye!
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